Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And then my night got REAL pukey
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
