11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
