you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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