What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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