Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
