You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
