I puked a lego.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
