you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
