My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
