i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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