There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
