and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
