A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would fuck him just for his dog
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
