Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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