There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
