$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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