Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
