I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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