Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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