my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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