____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
