Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
