just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
