Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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