I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize