You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
