haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Randomize
