We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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