you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
