We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
