I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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