he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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