If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
