Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
