So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
