Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
