You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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