im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
