physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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