at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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