Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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