You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize