How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize