just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
