I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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