I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
