Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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