That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
