I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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