meet me or not, i'm out of control
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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