Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
