Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
