i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
