Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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