Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
