Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
