can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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