Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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