wanna go halves on a baby?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
