You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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