cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
