Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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